Deuced windy out there but O'Callahan is a man of vast aeronautical experience and not in the least the sort of chap to allow a mere one hundred and twenty mile an hour wind to stop us taking off. In his oh-so-calm tone, he suggested that we "give it an old try" and everyone eased assuredly into the sports section. The very same wind, I'd observed on my drive to the airport earlier, had also enabled a domestic Ford Fiesta to take off.
As if in response to my doubts our hero then informed us that there would be a slight delay in order to get a slot on the runway that the hurricane was blowing down. Believe it or not, this intelligence did little to ease my clammy dread. When we finally took off it seemed ok for bit and everything felt normal. Emboldened by this, O'Callahan decided to tip a wing to make the plane shake about and scare the wits out of me. He succeeded in this with deadly precision but I held the headrest in front of me with my right palm. This steadied us sufficiently to allow O'Callahan to pull his charge back from its lateral pitch and onto a steady course. Only then did I remove my palm leaving the headrest wet and sticky.
But our torment was not yet ended. We had the clouds to negotiate and our captain's policy today was to forge through them as fast as he possibly could. Thus began the most vicious two minutes I've ever experienced outside an Old Firm game. I imagined O'Callahan wearing goggles and cackling loudly whilst randomly pulling levers as he barged us through the metallic vortex. At one point the wing outside my window collapsed completely but then seemed to recover its composure before resuming its usual spot on the side of the plane.
Finally we emerged into the blue leaving the clouds furious and caterwauling behind us. These monsters had eaten all the fluffy clouds and they'd nearly had us for afters. We levelled off and all things were bright and beautiful. O'Callahan had done it. What a man. I almost felt an affection towards the old Cossack. But please do me one favour. Don't mention that bastard's name to me again.
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